GIVE AWAY!!!

Skin MD is having a give away. Just click on this link to try and win. Canadians can apply too!!
http://www.skinmdnatural.com/july-4-giveaway.php

It is great stuff!! I hope you don't win so I can!! But give it a go anyway!

Don't look back!!

So a few weeks ago I was looking for some newer summer clothes. My husband calls me cheap. Cheap because I don't spend money on myself. Cheap because I spend money on other people, my kids, him, everything but myself. I haven't bought any new clothes in two years since the fire happened.

So I decided that I was going to go and look around for some new stuff that might catch my eye for summer. I first went into Pennington's. I like their clothes, they wash up great for work and withstand the wear. Here is the thing though. Everything I tried on in there was so damn big that it looked sloppy. Even the XL. Trust me I am not that small and I know it but I think their sizes are bigger. or something. Because, there was no buying that stuff.

Even when I look in the mirror I see changes but I still see that fat person looking back. How do you change your self impression. When you don't see what others see? Why do women find it so hard to find the good in themselves or just not care what they appear like. most men don't. They don't have the self consciousness that woman have. Some do. Most don't.

I plan on trying to turn my head to the fat person looking back, but it's going to be hard. We are so critical of ourselves.

It did feel good to know that I didn't have to shop there anymore. I can go to a regular store and purchase something that might fit a bit better. But until then I'm happy with my XL and 2XL old stuff. Call me cheap. or call me the girl working her way into that smaller size.

Until then. I'm good. I am also happy that when I put my clothes on now, it isn't too tight, it isn't snug, and that most of it falls away from my body. Maybe with the new clothes I can shed that self conscious behavior that clothes aren't suppose to be tight!!

Hmmmm....in the meantime though I won't be looking back at the fact that I don't HAVE to shop there again because I have no other options.

Maybe my husband won't like the fact when I love myself more, that I might spend much more of our money on me..... after all don't I have to make up for lost time??

All things soccor!

The day has finally come. The day that Tyson can start to play soccer. He has been waiting to do some sort of activity that involved and organised sport. I am sure it has been because he watches his big brother go to basketball all the time and karate so he was just waiting for his turn.

I am so glad that my children want to be so active. when I was a kid we played outside, rode bikes and all that kinda stuff but kids now a days want to be tied to a video game, computer or television.

Don't get me wrong my kids love all that stuff too, but I am glad that they also enjoy to do all the other things. Tyson would be outside all the time if he could. So here are a few pics of his first night at soccer. Dalton wasn't ugly even though he looks that way, he just forgot his hat and it was so bright and so hot!

Of course Auntie Ethel was there to support him in everything they do!! Thanks Auntie Ethel for the timbits and for just loving us unconditionally! We LOVE you!

Tonight he managed to get a goal and a SHINER! First ever for both. We don't know how but it must have been from an elbow, shoe or a soccor ball. At one point he thought he'd do a David Beckham but yeah....not so much!

Here he is sporting his shiner, a dirty face and the new short hair!

Great Job Ty Ty, we love you!

back in the groove.

Even though I was having a hard go there for a while I have been back at it. Journaling my food. Weighing, measuring making myself accountable. I have trying to get more activity in here and there but I am hoping that once school is done for the kids that we can spend more time at the parks, beach and in our own pool that it will be easier to get into. Tyson loves activity but gets bored with it very quickly. if we go to the school playground and he has Dalton to keep him busy and to play with he keeps his stamina going and I can walk on the track while they play.

I am back down to 206 but it makes me mad that I was so close to being out of the 200's and that I let stress and frustration get to me.

I am not anorexic. I am not bulimic. But I defiantly know that I have issues with food. Issues in the sense that I think it is my friend that doesn't talk back. Comforts me when I need it. I need to start looking at it that it is a friendship that is killing me. And we all know when you have a friend like that in your life that makes you feel bad about yourself, makes you feel worse to be around in the long haul, kills your self esteem that you so get them out of your life. I can't get rid of the food, but I can certainly change my relationship with it. And that is what I plan on doing.

I don't want my kids learning that food is their friend. To rely on it for comfort. I want them to be strong, and secure enough in themselves that they can deal with anything.

We've been at it.

So this is my friend Steph. And her wonderful husband Todd. We have know Todd since Dalton was a little over 8 months old. Way back when Darin worked at Cooney.

This is their wedding photo from last year. Last June to be exact. Steph was absolutely beautiful. Todd didn't look too bad himself either. Steph lost around (not sure exact) 60lbs for her wedding. She looked great. She always looks great though. She is the all around nice girl. I think she could get ugly if she tried. ( LOL I know she is reading this)

Steph wasn't always the skinny girl. That is why she gets how hard it is. I adore them both. You have heard me talk about the baby that it coming, well it is theirs. And since Steph is due is just a few days, we have been hard at it walking and trying to get that sweet baby going and ready to come. I can't wait to meet her.

Todd and Steph are just a little apprehensive about the whole thing but after all who is every ready until that baby actually gets here!

So we'll keep walking and getting the baby ready and after that Steph, I look forward to walking with you and baby girl to get that body back. If you think your stride is slow now lord help me keeping up once you aren't carrying her!! We shed 10 minutes off our 5 km walk in just a couple days

UGGG ( just kidding) I love that you keep me motivated and moving. And besides it's a good excuse to love her up!

Walking just isn't the same or as much fun without you!

How do you do it.....

I know I haven't posted much at all lately. it seems that I never have the time. It seems that we are so busy. But I wanna know how do you do it?



I read blogs. I read cookbooks. I am inspired by so many people who have been and continue to be on this journey.



But I wanna know... if you are so much like me and struggle with so many of the same issues... How do you....

• Get over seeing the "fat" person in the mirror
  
  
• Find the time for yourself when you have two kids doing their own activities that requires you to be there.
  
  
• Work a full time job - shifts at that
  
  
• stick to it when you don't have all the support you need
  
  
• avoid food when your mind tells you you need it the most even though you KNOW you don't
  
  
• change your thinking
  
  
• exercise - without taking away from your kids- your responsibilities as a parent- losing sleep and effecting everything else you do
  
  
• find the way to fill yourself with the healthy things and avoid the so called comfort foods.
  
  
• be happy with yourself when you feel it isn't enough.
  
  
• Not fall back.



• Stay focused on the life ahead.
  
  

These are the things that I have to think about everyday. I haven't been walking. I haven't been eating right. I have become frustrated. I need to know how you just pick yourself up and keep going. I know I have to do it. I know no one can do it for me.

The biggest thing that I do know..... is that I have to do it for this....

And I guess if it means taking a little bit of time away from them, it will mean a whole lot of life for me to share with them. Also that I have to reach them how important it is to get fit and healthy and stay that way. So you can enjoy life and not be restricted by your body.

Someone told me once what a good mother they thought I was. I remember thinking. Really... am I? I look in the mirror and think. How can I be? Don't get me wrong. i think I am a good Mom but I don't lead by example. I nurture them and love them and teach them but I know I can do more. I have to just find that motivation to get going and stay that way.

Does 2 make a difference??

lost 2 lbs.

Does it make a difference?

You bet it does.

Can I see it???

NOPE

Can I feel it??

NOPE, Not in my clothes.

How could it possibly make a difference then?

Oh baby!! My heart is all a flutter. I weigh 204. So close to being under 200. I feel great. I am not lethargic, sloppy, tired, I could go on but I'm good with just that.

So do I feel it?? Again I ask.

YOU BET I DO!!!