New shoes...

Have you seen these shoes?? I have seen the commercials. I watched that beautiful fanny prance around half naked, tanned legs and all that. Thinking the whole time. Yeah that chick hasn't had kids yet. Regardless, a friend of mine has them, I teased her about them at first. I have looked at them before at Sport check but could not imagine paying over $100.00 for a pair of shoes.

Well I was at Costco on Thursday and they were only $49.99 so I decided to try them. I read all the benefit's for your legs, calf's, fanny, abs etc. I read about all the good things it helps. I know I will never have and *ss like the one on television but... here is the thing. I have issues with my feet. I have what the Dr described as carpel tunnel but in my feet. My toes burn and get numb when I walk or stand for any time at all. So I walk everyday for the exercise. At least 5kms. It bothers my feet. I have shin splints in my left leg too. I can't win.

I purchased these shoes. I have wore them walking three days now. First day...shins splints were non existent. (they happen everyday when I walk) The heat and numbness in my toes, they get hot still but the numbness is gone. Do I think it's the shoes. You bet. Because when I put my old shoes on I can feel my calf's. They feel different. I wear New Balance runners all the time, so I generally have good shoes on my feet. My stomach muscles this morning are sore too! So it means these shoes actually do what they say. I am just grateful for my feet! Steph says that I am even walking faster ( probably because I am not in so much pain).

So I must say, I like my new shoes. Have you got a pair? What so you think? If you don't and you walk or run... I suggest get a pair!!

report cards...

So school is out for another year. My kids are thrilled to be done. today was their last day. Tyson asked for chocolate suckers for his class meanwhile Dalton wanted me to make chocolate cupcakes.

I always try to make and participate in all the stuff for school with my kids but when they ask you for extra special treats for their classes it makes it harder for me. I did well and didn't eat anything.

The treats made it to school untouched and in tact. Even with a few to spare but I still didn't eat any. I am doing my best trying to make the best of those 5km walks everyday!

The boys report cards were as good as expected. Dalton always does well. tyson's teacher who is an absolute doll and I am thrilled will have him again next year even though she is going back to teaching part time. Made great comments but my favorite was Tyson passes JK with assistance. I read between the lines and that means..... Tyson made it through because Julie has excellent patience.

I appreciate all those teachers donate and do to assist my kids in thier development and learning. I love our little school!

What did your day sound like....

What was your day like today?

I had a busy day from start to finish with never ending things coming up. Started with a phone call to come to work an hour earlier. Going to work, having a earthquake.Then having to stop on my way home from work at Walmart because there is no dog food. Getting supper, getting Tyson ready for soccer, my 9 year old telling me at 6pm he needs a costume for school tomorrow, going to soccer, cleaning up supper, picking up supplies for the costume, making a costume and packing lunches and going to bed.

No walk, no exercise. Nothing... not something that made me happy but again, real life.

My kids come first so it was important to Dalton to have a costume and so once we got home from soccer a costume we made.

Dalton googled easy knight costume ideas and this was one he liked that we could swing together pretty easily.

He liked it and was pretty proud that he had such a great helmet.

It was made with heavy felt and crafting foam. I sewed it which gave it shape and character. The uniform was his Dad's old sleeveless shirt, his belt and sword. I had some thin packing material that we cut a neck out of and he wore it over top of the black shirt.

He also needed a crest to complete the costume. So this is what he and I came up with. He was happy with the results no matter. Earlier I mentioned an earthquake. We had one here. I didn't feel it, but many did. The weather is so weird anymore you can never predict it!

So basically it was a busy day. No exercise but my calories were right on track so I am as happy as I can be with that.

Busy day..

So after working nights last night, and having Tyson home with me all day we had to decide what we were going to get accomplished today. I told both kids that if they were good today that we would go to the movie tonight. It was cheap night and I also had a pay one get one free pass. So The three of us got in for just over $10.00. Call me cheap, call me frugal, call me whatever you like but I gotta love when you can get a deal like that!

So after Dalton got off to school, Tyson and I decided that we were going to go and pick some strawberries. Have you ever taken a 4 year old strawberry picking? Not fun. We made out OK though. I made it into a contest to see who could find the biggest berry. Then he would pick one, and bring it to me and compare. If it was bigger he was happy if not it went in the basket. Either way, I win. We picked 6 quarts. That should last a day or two. They never last around here.

after that we came home, vacuumed and cleaned up the house. Got some supper ready and headed out to the movies. We saw...It was very cute and the boys both like it very much. Tyson got fidgety near the end but he did a good job for the fella that can't sit long. We got some popcorn so that helped.

Popcorn... food of champions...not... especially when it is covered in a ton of butter. I ate some but we ended up bringing quite a bit of it home. I didn't get a walk today. I was hoping to get one but with the rain, being busy today and having Tyson home it just didn't happen. Not to mention I was exhausted by the afternoon from working last night.

I don't get upset if I don't walk, or have some sort of activity everyday. I try to , it makes me feel better but life happens and I am finding that I just have to find a way to merge the two together. It can't be an all or nothing situation this time. So I do my best and don't get hung up over it.

But you can bet that it will happen tomorrow!!

Brown Belt it is....

Dalton achieved his brown belt tonight at karate class. Hard to believe that it is almost done ( and school that matter) for another year. As you can see by his little grin he was quite proud of himself too. He does a good job. He won't be returning to this class next year though. he has learned all he can here now and will be joining the class at the base that incorporates kick boxing. He is looking forward to that.

We might start at some point this summer but we will see how busy we are otherwise it will wait until fall. For him though it can't start soon enough. But I also tried to remind him that it will somewhat interfere with the activities that we plan on going and doing this summer. So he decided to pass until September.

He spent most of the year this year as a sempai. Helping to teach the others in the class. He enjoyed that too. Now all the kids are looking forward to the end of year pizza party next week!

He kills me with his proud little grin. Afraid to show how happy he is but just having a hard time containing himself.

So after the belts were all done the boys had their picture taken with Sensai. Tyson had to join in too!! Nick also got his brown belt and I expect that he might join Dalton in the fall too. We'll have to wait and see.

Mom and Dad are so proud of you Dalton!! We love you so much! XO

Guess what we did last night....and how good I felt

Well last night proved to be a bunch of fun. We went to see ZZTop. We were suppose to meet up with a bunch of people but those plans kinda flopped. But you know what we met up with other friends. We saved money by not drinking and probably had just as much fun.

By not drinking, I saved a ton of calories that I didn't need to be drinking anyway. I did have one beer, but I don't think that one will kill me. That and I don't want diet to over rule real life.

We watched so many "Young" people power drink and I thought of my own two boys. I can only hope that I can teach them better than that. I know it is different when they are older, when they are around their friends but I still can only hope.I think that this is so dangerous and kids have no idea what they are doing to themselves.

I didn't walk yesterday. I felt terrible. Not physically but emotionally.Because, I have been going everyday whether I felt like it or not. It all worked out though for the best because I got it in. my Parents live about 3 kms from where the concert was. We took our van to their house and took a cab from there to the concert. Darin has a very bad back and can't walk to far without being in total pain. However, afterwards it was so jammed packed with people that I told him to just walk up the hill to Tim Horton's, and I would walk to get the van. He didn't like me walking at 11pm all alone in the dark. Seriously, I said there are 10000 people walking the same way.

Ended up though, that I walked there with 2 young 16 year old girls who were kinda spooked because it was thunder and lightening out.It took my less than 20 mins to walk the 3 kms. But trust me (Steph) my feet and calf was killing me and it was almost an all uphill grade!The two girls were glad to have the company. We were lucky, it didn't rain until after I got the van and picked up Darin.

We did something bad after that though, we were both starving and we went and got subs. I ate tons of veggies and made it as healthy as I could but I am hoping that I really don't pay for eating so late at night.

So after all that we had a great time and I got my exercise in and all was good. It didn't start out too bad either though. I had bought some new jeans way back at Christmas. They were tight and I could barely do them up. Well last night I hemmed them and put them on. They have been washed and dried in the dryer. And they fit. They were loose. I couldn't believe it.I needed a belt to hold them up! I was one happy girl. When this happens and I feel good I forget about the scale.

Sometimes I drive myself crazy and can weigh myself up to 3 times a day. I know that isn't good, but I get fixed on something and too late. But after that I realized. The scale doesn't matter as much as how I feel. I feel great so if I just keep doing what I am doing then the scale will start to see it like I do. Maybe it is time to give Darin the scale to put away for a few weeks and forget about it.

So today is father's day.Here is an old pic I am sharing. It is when Tyson was 10 months old Dalton was 6. It is at Canada's wonderland. It was probably the last time that we went there as a family. Since that, I have gone with Dalton alone up till last year Tyson and Colleen came with us.

Happy Father's day. To my wonderful husband. You drive me crazy... With your silly songs, your foolish ways, when you don't pick up after yourself, when you make more work for me, when you are selfish, and when your the only one who thinks your funny.

But here's the thing. I wouldn't have you any other way. I love you till death. You have turned out to be a great father. For the guy who didn't want any. Our kids adore you. You are gentle and kind, and love them for who they are( even though some days Ty is a challenge). You take the time to make their childhood the best that they could have and that is why I love you. Their lives wouldn't be the same with out you.

And to my own Father and Grandfather. Thank you for making me into the woman I am I hope I didn't turn out too bad either!!

I love you.

Love, love, Love them....

I have to put this post in pink. Just for Lauryn.

Dalton has a friend Keaton. They are really good buds. Like best friends. Keaton has a great sense of humour and is so kind that sometimes it gets him into trouble. (ie. he does something wrong, knows it and tells on himself. LOL) He comes from a great family. Over the years we have all become friends through our kids. Keaton's mother is a very creative woman.

Creative in so many ways. She scrapbooks for a major American magazine, she works for a scrap booking company, she does demonstrations all over the USA, and she is a photographer. Just recently Leslie has started her own business. It was a long time coming and she is such a talent at it.

Stephanie and Todd went to the funfair with us back in May and Leslie was offering a photo shoot as one of the silent auction items. I told Steph it was so worth it because Les is so good at what she does. So she bid and she won.

Well Leslie definitely didn't disappoint. She posting just a few pics so far on her web page. I am so in love with them. She did a fabulous job! I am sure that Todd and Steph are not disappointed either. Steph told me what a good job Les did before she even saw any of the pictures.

Leslie is coming to the east cost in August so if you want her to take some pictures for you call her and book her quick!!

Here is her link!! Check our all her beautiful photo's and of course the little pumpkins photo's too!!

http://leslielightfootphotography.com/

Thanks Les for doing such a wonderful job. I know that Todd and Steph will cherish them forever.

( photo is copy written and is used for advertisement for Leslie Lightfoot photography only)

It all takes an effort.

Did you ever notice that anything that is ever worthwhile in your life takes an effort?

• Your kids bring you so much love, grief, comfort, pain, happiness, unhappiness but most of all Love. They take so much effort. They need people to take the time to make them into good human beings. Caring human beings. Not selfish, not hurtful, just all around good people. It all takes time. In the end if you have taught them right it will be worthwhile.

• Your job. If you don't put some kind of worthwhile effort into it and you don't enjoy it and then your unhappy, struggling and miserable. It takes an effort to be happy and good at it. No matter what the job may be.

• Friendships. If you want a friendship to last for a lifetime, you have to put an effort in. If you don't the friends distance themselves and the friendship fades and people move on. Friendships are 50/50 both people need to make the effort or it won't last.

• Marriage. It works alot the same way as a friendship. If it is going to last then you have to make an effort. It has to be 50/50 whether it is money, kids, time, housework all the things that come in a relationship, it has to be an honest effort by both people or it just doesn't work. And divorce is inevitable.

My health is finally one of those things that I am going to make an effort. I have been making an effort. It is a priority. Pain or no pain, if it is worthwhile then I have to make and effort.

So I guess with that being stated that I must think......

THAT I AM WORTH IT!

It takes a lot to admit it but as I have been feeling better I think I have become better at all the things I said above. whether it is because I am not tired, sluggish and exhausted I don't know but whatever it is I am glad that after 38 years that I am finally not afraid to say it!

9.5 inches...

9.5 inches....

Do you measure yourself? I have to admit. I normally don't. I haven't in the past. I have noticed though that since the new year when I decided enough was enough and that I wanted to get this done, accomplished and start reliving and enjoying all my life. That I figured I would just take some measurements to start out with.

Well. since January 7Th it would appear that I have lost a total of 9.5 inches over all.

I have lost 6 in my waist. hips was 1. Neck was 1.5. And my arms were 1. I knew that my pant were loose but holy am I happy about that.

Steph has been keeping me going. I have walked everyday this week with or without her. My feet and one calf are giving me struggles but I am going to win. I have to win. She is a real goer which I love, but holy. My feet are glad to shed those shoes once we get home. THANKS STEPH!!

I just think. 9.5 inches. That's something to be proud of.

And I am.

Looking forward to summer...

Summer has always been my favorite time of year. We spend lots of time outside. LOTS. We have a pool and the kids bug to go everyday, rain or shine. Which is good easy exercise. Lots of days while they play and swim I jog around the outside of the pool. They think that I am doing it for their benefit, and for many reasons I am. My health, easier on the bones and joints and they love the cyclone effect they get.

I have to admit though, I think that even though I look terrible in pictures. I am feeling much better even when I put that swimsuit on and it is loose. Not tight sucked to every inch of my body.

I still don't look good in a swimsuit. Compared to last year at this time, I certainly feel better in it. I feel better in it and I feel better emotionally in it.

It's no bikini body, and I am not ever wanting it to be. I just want to be comfortable in the skin I wear and whatever I wear over it.

Then...then I'll be totally happy.

pictures....

Pictures..... Why is it in pictures that large people look larger and small people look the same?

Does it have anything to do with the way we see ourselves? Do we really look that bad? I know that all my life I have been a bigger girl. I know that all my life I have hated having people take my pictures.

I know that I have made progress, I can see it in my shape, my clothes, and the way I feel. my pants are loose, my shirts are too big, my gut doesn't hold my breasts up, my bra cup is too big but still...

Somehow though I am still not happy with what I see in pictures!

Drop me a comment , click on the little "comment" below

Amanda The graduate!

This is Amanda. She is such a wonderful young woman. Hard to believe I can say that now. We have had the privilege to be a part of this wonderful girls life since she was just 4. It is amazing over the years how the kids have grown and become their own people.

Well she graduated from Loyalist college this week. She had excellent marks. She has finally finished her child and youth worker and has already found a job.

Her parents had a small party for her on Thursday night. This was her opening her gifts.
She will unfortunately be moving out of Ontario but she will be with Ethel's family ( her Mom's) she has already got and apartment and is starting her life. One day her parents will move down east and be with her again when the retire but until then we look forward to seeing her when she comes home.

So Amanda. We cannot tell you how much you mean to us, how incredibly proud we are of you and what a wonderful young woman you have turned out to be.

We all love you very much and will miss you!

Sweet Baby Lauryn!

Sweet Baby Lauryn. We finally got to meet her. Nine days late but totally worth the wait. We had Todd and Steph down for supper. She was born last Thursday, we saw her at the hospital on Friday. Dalton was in school and Tyson spent and hour with Nanny, they weren't allowed on the maternity floor anyway. They were so pushy to see the pics we took of her at the hospital. SOOO Cute they said.

So on Tuesday that is all I heard all day. When is she coming. What time are they going to get here. Is it time yet. Can you text Steph. and so on.....



So they got here and as you can see from the pictures I had two super excited boys. Tyson couldn't wait to hold her. Steph didn't even have her in the house and they were all over them. He told Todd that he is going to marry her. Todd just said figures, better get my shotgun now!! We all laughed.

Dalton was the exact opposite. He held her like a pro. He was so attentive to her. Coddling her and making sure she was safe. He recently did the babysitting course so he knows all about what to do. I said he was just securing himself a job. (LOL) But he kept an eye on her all evening telling Tyson to stay away.

Regardless, I think that we all think she is pretty neat. I don't think she knows yet but she has a ton of fans already. I also don't think she knows yet how many people love her and what great parents she has. Someday, someday she'll know.

But in the meantime, we'll be spending all kinds of time together. Tell Mom to get that stroller out we have to get that pre-baby body back! Her and I both ( even though my baby will be five in August).

So to our friends new little pumpkin... we look forward to watching you grow and be a part of our lives. And can't wait to give you really loud toys!!

Love you Lauryn ( and your Mom and Dad well, :) they ain't so bad either )

GIVE AWAY!!!

Skin MD is having a give away. Just click on this link to try and win. Canadians can apply too!!
http://www.skinmdnatural.com/july-4-giveaway.php

It is great stuff!! I hope you don't win so I can!! But give it a go anyway!

Don't look back!!

So a few weeks ago I was looking for some newer summer clothes. My husband calls me cheap. Cheap because I don't spend money on myself. Cheap because I spend money on other people, my kids, him, everything but myself. I haven't bought any new clothes in two years since the fire happened.

So I decided that I was going to go and look around for some new stuff that might catch my eye for summer. I first went into Pennington's. I like their clothes, they wash up great for work and withstand the wear. Here is the thing though. Everything I tried on in there was so damn big that it looked sloppy. Even the XL. Trust me I am not that small and I know it but I think their sizes are bigger. or something. Because, there was no buying that stuff.

Even when I look in the mirror I see changes but I still see that fat person looking back. How do you change your self impression. When you don't see what others see? Why do women find it so hard to find the good in themselves or just not care what they appear like. most men don't. They don't have the self consciousness that woman have. Some do. Most don't.

I plan on trying to turn my head to the fat person looking back, but it's going to be hard. We are so critical of ourselves.

It did feel good to know that I didn't have to shop there anymore. I can go to a regular store and purchase something that might fit a bit better. But until then I'm happy with my XL and 2XL old stuff. Call me cheap. or call me the girl working her way into that smaller size.

Until then. I'm good. I am also happy that when I put my clothes on now, it isn't too tight, it isn't snug, and that most of it falls away from my body. Maybe with the new clothes I can shed that self conscious behavior that clothes aren't suppose to be tight!!

Hmmmm....in the meantime though I won't be looking back at the fact that I don't HAVE to shop there again because I have no other options.

Maybe my husband won't like the fact when I love myself more, that I might spend much more of our money on me..... after all don't I have to make up for lost time??

All things soccor!

The day has finally come. The day that Tyson can start to play soccer. He has been waiting to do some sort of activity that involved and organised sport. I am sure it has been because he watches his big brother go to basketball all the time and karate so he was just waiting for his turn.

I am so glad that my children want to be so active. when I was a kid we played outside, rode bikes and all that kinda stuff but kids now a days want to be tied to a video game, computer or television.

Don't get me wrong my kids love all that stuff too, but I am glad that they also enjoy to do all the other things. Tyson would be outside all the time if he could. So here are a few pics of his first night at soccer. Dalton wasn't ugly even though he looks that way, he just forgot his hat and it was so bright and so hot!

Of course Auntie Ethel was there to support him in everything they do!! Thanks Auntie Ethel for the timbits and for just loving us unconditionally! We LOVE you!

Tonight he managed to get a goal and a SHINER! First ever for both. We don't know how but it must have been from an elbow, shoe or a soccor ball. At one point he thought he'd do a David Beckham but yeah....not so much!

Here he is sporting his shiner, a dirty face and the new short hair!

Great Job Ty Ty, we love you!

back in the groove.

Even though I was having a hard go there for a while I have been back at it. Journaling my food. Weighing, measuring making myself accountable. I have trying to get more activity in here and there but I am hoping that once school is done for the kids that we can spend more time at the parks, beach and in our own pool that it will be easier to get into. Tyson loves activity but gets bored with it very quickly. if we go to the school playground and he has Dalton to keep him busy and to play with he keeps his stamina going and I can walk on the track while they play.

I am back down to 206 but it makes me mad that I was so close to being out of the 200's and that I let stress and frustration get to me.

I am not anorexic. I am not bulimic. But I defiantly know that I have issues with food. Issues in the sense that I think it is my friend that doesn't talk back. Comforts me when I need it. I need to start looking at it that it is a friendship that is killing me. And we all know when you have a friend like that in your life that makes you feel bad about yourself, makes you feel worse to be around in the long haul, kills your self esteem that you so get them out of your life. I can't get rid of the food, but I can certainly change my relationship with it. And that is what I plan on doing.

I don't want my kids learning that food is their friend. To rely on it for comfort. I want them to be strong, and secure enough in themselves that they can deal with anything.